Picture this...after a long day, you were able to muster up the last of will and get your butt to your Pilates class - and you totally killed it! You could have easily gone home and crushed a bottle of wine and eaten the string cheese, but you didn't. You chose well and gave your body what it needed. You're walking out of your class and run into a cutie. You guys have been playing the flirt game for a while now. You notice his eyes as they take their gaze down, so you follow. As you're tracking, there's a halt! A complete stop and the screeching sound of a record player goes off in your head, then an immediate and awkward glance back up. Some mumbling from him as he dashes off. And you're left there still standing with your eyes gliding back down. Down to your crotch. That's right. The sweaty crotch triangle. Gaaawwwddd, kill me know. Why? Like, why? Of course of all the days, you choose to wear your pretty "Glossier pink" color workout leggings and not your normal yet safe, black ones.
The sweaty crotch triangle super sucks. It really does. And with all of the cute and adorbs workout gear in all the pretty colors, you want to rock it. But then you have to think about the freaking aftermath of a good workout sesh - and if it will leave the obvious mark? Let's get real about this situation. First of all, it's totally normal and so many men and women have this happen. Your body is doing what's it's supposed to be doing. The groin is behaving pretty much like the armpits - it's warm, hairy, has sweat glands, and has bacteria. However, there's just something that's more off putting with a sweaty crotch verses the armpits, right?
If you're the luckiest girl in the whole wide world, such as myself (ha!), then you pour sweat more than a dirty ole man whose been up all night with both ends going from Chineses food poisoning. It's nasty. My boobs sweat. My stomach sweats. Of course the crotch, but oddly just my right armpit, not the left. Hell, even my knees sweat. It could be 30 degrees and water just pours out of me like Niagara Falls. It never fails to hit me in the most embarrassing times.
So let's transition from my hypothetical about you and the cutie, and let's look at me! Here's an example of my sweat proclivity... my little sister recently got married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony. At the rehearsal, both of my grandmothers made sure to share that they "saw how sweaty" my chest was as I was standing next to my beautiful sister. She looks like freaking Barbie too, so the nasty sweat sure did just add to my self-confidence. The day of the ceremony, I had to completely take off my bridesmaid dress after we finished taking our pre-wedding pictures, to allow the dress to dry out. I had a sweat stain the shape of a crescent moon from my chest to my belly button on my "whipped apricot" colored dress. Good times. Felt gorgeous. My sister and her friend both chimed in and said, "I'm sure the photographer can photoshop that out." Gotcha.
So in conclusion, me and my sweaty crotch triangle, and you in your sweaty crotch triangle, will always go hand in hand. Especially after a solid workout. I mean...yes. I could totally try the sweat-wicking underwear and/or pants, use powders, stick to cotton, change after my workouts before running errands, or wear baggier pants. But for me, I'm just gonna keep crushing my workouts and rock my sweaty crotch triangle with honor. Maybe, I will slap on a sweatshirt or tie it around my waist if I need to in order to not embarrass my soon to be 12 year old son, but who cares? Yes, it's a little embarrassing, and I do tend to call myself out first and poke fun before others can. But if I'm in my pretty pink, red, grey, dark grey, blue, or any other color leggings besides black and I sweat, I'm going to roll with it. Maybe even snap a selfie like this pic and post it. It's all good. Funny, but good.