"Gurlll...you okay? You look like you just got hit by a bus."
"I'm okay. No, I was not hit by a bus, but I did wreck my car and flip like a NASCAR driver and flipped off of a bridge. So..yeah gurl, I be looking rough."
When I originally wrote this, I typed out every bit of what happened before the wreck, during, and afterwards. When I went back and read it, I nearly shat myself. It's a bit too much and intense. But I will share this...I'm a walking miracle, and so much more!
April 26, 2019 was my husband, Charlie's 39th birthday. At 2:40 pm that day, I survived a horrific car accident. One that would make the Hollywood movie execs proud to have as a scene in the next James Bond pic. Not only has my life been spared, but so has my body. Not one broken bone. No stitches were required to put me back together. I escaped and even cheated death.
The last 12 months of my life have been by far the hardest. The heartbreak and the loss that I, along with my family have endured has been awful, it's only fitting to close out the 12 months with an epic and dramatic car accident. My family has coined ourselves as the white trash version of the Kennedy family. Just cloaked in drama, death, sadness, and tragedy. So this accident was just the icing on the damn cake.
On April 26th, it was so hot and humid and I was kind of in a mood. You know...just a mood. I was driving to meet my sister and her fiance at their wedding venue, and on the way down I saw this poor girl literally broke down in the middle of the highway, flailing about and just a complete spaz. I thought to myself, "you look how I feel sista." Just a hot mess. I pulled over, and I was able to help her get her car off of the road. I got back in my car and felt good to have helped out a person, but I was peeved because I was late, and a sweaty mess.
As I was walking around the venue with my sister, Lindsey, and her fiance Jake, I became so happy. I watched her light up and get all excited, which made me excited. My poor sister has hated the whole wedding planning process, so to see her look actually happy about something made me teary eyed in all the good ways.
It was raining while on the drive back. I was on the phone with my grandmother, Mimi, when my right front tire hit the water and I hydroplaned, spun and hit a concrete barrier with the back of the car, and flipped off of the overpass bridge. Not like a rolled off or rolled down an embankment. NO, I literally went off of the bridge, hit the ground below, flew some more, and landed on the passenger side. There were a few times I thought I was going to die. The first was, and I will never forget it, when I looked out the passenger window and saw that I was going off of the bridge and I believe I even said it out loud, "F*ck, I'm going to die!". But I didn't.
Then next was when I was in the ambulance and the EMT said, "Listen, I can't give you any kind of pain meds because you're most likely bleeding internally and will need immediate surgery." So, then I thought well now I'm definitely going to do die. I've seen Grey's Anatomy, I know how that whole internal bleeding goes...you die. I later found that I was bleeding, but not from any organs, but from severe internal bruising in the abdominal muscles, and none required immediate surgery.
The final moment that I thought I was for sure that I was going to kick the bucket was when they were giving me a boat load meds and pain drugs, and all I could do in that moment was think about Michael Jackson and how he died from Propofol; which of course was NOT what was being administered to me. As my Aunt Debbie whose an RN assured me ,I was not given Propofol, but was give Dilaudid - and not a lethal dose! But for a moment, I was sure I was going to towards light when that was hitting my blood stream. Clearly, I'm good.
To survive what I survived is clearly a miracle, and I know that without a doubt in my mind. I'm not going to share all the details, what if's, and my deeper emotions - I'm still processing all of those feelings and emotions, and know that I have a lot of work ahead of me. I will share that I really don't think that everything happens for a reason - that my accident was just that, it was an accident. Nothing more. I don't feel like it was a sign from god telling me to live my life better or in a certain way. I don't feel like god handles us like that. That's just my personal feeling and take on that. I do feel like we are challenged with tough conditions to see if we can get through it. As I've shared before, the past 12 months has been hell and this event could have really broken me, but it didn't. And maybe that's because I have already endured so much that I'm a little numb to it. But whatever the case, I am doing okay.
My injuries are non life-threatening, but they suck ass. I must have a high tolerance for pain, and it's actually gotten my body in trouble because I don't know how to just rest and heal. I started the first week in a wheelchair and could hardly stand on my own. I had to have someone help me with eating, changing clothes, bathing, and to use the bathroom. I had to take ice baths to encourage the abdominal bleeding to stop. I had to literally sleep on ice. But I got past it. I also got back into a car and rode around. I was okay enough to get into a car, ride to Raleigh to help my sister pick out her wedding dress. I was not going to let my sister be alone in such an amazing and important time in her life. I also did't stop being a mother. Do you think my 2 year old son, Bo, cares I was in a car accident? Hell no, he just wanted to ride in my lap and get pushed around in a wheelchair. Which was so great.
I have torn all kind of crap in my body. My road to a full recovery will be long and hard. It doesn't help that I own a business that requires me to be very physical all day, but I'm grateful for it. In order to move and get my body going, when I wake up, the very first thing is to lay on a huge heating pad. I just chill and drink my coffee while doing so. I then have to stretch, roll on either a foam roller or my son Conner's lacrosse ball. The lacrosse ball hurts all kinds of cuss words, but it's what truly gets deep and works on the knots. I have to also roll my feet over it and stand on it. That's bloody murder. I have to do these things all throughout the day every day. Yes, it's a lot maintenance, but it's better than not being able to move at all.
I still have some injuries that are just now being discovered and some surgeries could be a strong possibility in my future, but we're waiting on that. Overall, I really am good.
I am and will forever be grateful for all that helped me on the day of April 26th. I cannot believe that no one else was involved or hurt in this accident. I cannot properly put into words how grateful I am for those who not only were physically there, but for those who lifted me and my family up in prayer, for sending me positive vibes, and keeping us in their thoughts. I am so thankful to still be here - to have been given a second chance at life and I don't intend on wasting it.
Here's a quick vid that shows some exercises and how I am using Pilates to recover, heal, and regain my strength. I am still very sore and I have gained nearly 12 pounds just from all of the inflammation and swelling.